ATTN: All Staff, specifically, DE-6
It is with great sadness when any member of our non NPC staff passes away, as was the case last week when a massive power surge lead to the unfortunate loss of one of electricians. However this post isn’t to address his passing so much as it was the impromptu funeral service that took place which has once again forced us to make a few changes around here.
It was no secret that Elvis ‘Thor’ Fanaka (or Y2112 as he was known to us) from construction crew Delta-Echo-6 had never missed an opportunity to speak of his “Viking heritage,” a bit of information we’ve always found questionable at best. We understand that those close to him had wanted to honor his adopted heritage but it was the nature in which his “Norse funeral” was carried out, that we would like to address (not to mention breaking into the morgue).
We would like to make it perfectly clear that the artificial river feeding into the water treatment plant is NOT to be used for the disposal of corpses. We didn’t think this would warrant repeating after the last time but that’s on us.
Even though the large mashers were able to break up the flaming door on which he was afloat (also, mystery solved on where Dr. Teller Wittman’s office door went), the larger half of the corpse got stuck in an intake scrubber, shutting the entire plant down. And while we’re sure we shouldn’t have to mention this either but this also poses a serious health risk.
As maintenance crews fish out the pieces and repair the station, we’ve had to order tens of thousands of dollars worth of bottled water. And since our teleportation system is also down for maintenance, that water has to be flown in at even greater expense (water is heavy, fuel is expensive) - great timing all around, bravo!
As for the crew of DE-6, we know you meant well, but in the future, come to us first. From now on we will be assigning security staff to that area. Anyone not authorized to be there will be removed and their activities reported.
In the meantime, we have set up a water distribution center near the security checkpoint at the base of the Atrium. Please help spread the word to your fellow workers. Limit is 10, 500mL bottles, per person, a day, and 5 for DE-6 personnel.
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