Free-range Mutant Farming

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A.K.A the Mutant Pharm

What’s one part Architeuthis, two parts Arachnid, one part Dionaea muscipula and a pinch of salt? We don’t know, but it cost an arm and a leg.

Everyone may be familiar with the concept of good ‘ol fashioned lab grown gene-splicing built on standard virology as anyone can mix stuff up in a tube and throw it at the wall (not recommended), but did you know that there is a more natural, free range alternative?

As a pharmaceutical company that lays the groundwork for many modern medical conveniences, we too once treaded these waters but free market competition means resorting to some less-than-practical solutions in order to stay ahead of the competition. We’ll spare you the details, but the end result is a sprawling, subterranean ecosystem in which new breeds of animal evolve and intermix naturally, existing in a state of constant change - just like nature intended, just much faster. Not confined in some cage.

This not only leads to a better quality of life for our products, but it also lets nature play a part in the process in ways we never could have imagined. Having learned a long time ago, not to control mother nature (as she can be a fickle mistress) but to work alongside her and share in the miracle of life before hacking it apart and harvesting its qualities to bring you, the consumer, a better quality of life in return.

Take for example, our moderately successful line of RH-products, marketed under the name, ‘rhino hands.’ For anyone wanting a little extra protection for your five (or more depending on your prescriptions) fingered appendages. One dose and you’ll be waking up the next day with the calloused hands of a career woodworker. Please always note the directions and heed all warnings on the packaging and NEVER exceed the recommended dosage for any of our products, we cannot stress this point enough, just don’t! Or else you may find yourself on the wrong side of our acquisitions team.

Check out our section regarding the Mutant Run for more information on some of the day-to-day activities of what it’s like to be a runner, committed to pharm duty. And the precautions we take, to make this an excellent and kind-of-safe place to plant down a career.